


A New Life

by Nejis_hair_tie



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eren Is a Little Shit, F/F, F/M, M/M, Manga & Anime, Manga Spoilers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reconciliation, Time Skips, if I start feeling spicy, maybe smut?, mostly focuses on Eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2020-09-06 12:34:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20291536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nejis_hair_tie/pseuds/Nejis_hair_tie
Summary: Even when he was still a child, Eren remembered everything that happened in his past life. Paradis Island, the war between Marley and Eldia, the titans, and the trauma he endured because of all of it. Even though he lives in a vastly more peaceful time period, he is still haunted by the experiences of another life time.There is a part of him that feels like he does not deserve the happy life that he was granted to have, but he cannot deny that it is all he ever wanted. As he grows older and meets people from his old life, can he allow himself to be content? Can he forgive himself for the monster he became? Will he be able to reconcile with the people he hurt and the people that had hurt him?This is a just self-indulgent reincarnation AU.





	1. A Nightmare from 2000 Years Ago

**Author's Note:**

> I will admit that I haven't thought too far in how this will go. I just want a world where these characters can actually heal from all their trauma.
> 
> I plan to only mention things that have happened in the anime, but I will tag manga spoilers in case I mess up.

It had started when Eren was eight years old that he began gaining the memories of his past life. Before then, he was just like any other kid. He grew up in a quiet neighborhood, his father was a doctor and his mother was a stay-at-home parent, and he spent his days being carefree and rambunctious. He was always outside playing with other kids. He also loved cartoons and action figures. He was a bit of a hot-headed brat that talked back to his parents (much to his mom's displeasure). However, he was a happy child with his whole life ahead of him.

Eren was excited when he was told that a new family was going to be moving into the neighborhood that he lived in. His mom told him that the Arlerts had a child that was his age. The idea of a new friend sounded thrilling at the time. Eren would have not been able to fathom what a fateful encounter this was going to be. 

Carla, Eren's mom, insisted that she make a pie to welcome the other family. Eren rushed ahead of his mother because he wanted to be the one to ring the doorbell. She called out to her son and told him to only ring the bell one time. The young boy did what he was told, but he really wanted to ring it a second time. Carla was able to catch up to her son in time to wait with him for the door to be opened. They were greeted a blonde-haired woman who smiled at both of them in appreciation of their hospitality. Mrs. Arlert offered to let them inside so that they could eat the pie together and to introduce her son, Armin, to Eren.

When Eren first met eyes with the other boy, it felt like the world went in to slow-motion. He knew immediately that he had seen this boy before. Foreign imagery flashed before his eyes of the both of them growing up together, becoming soldiers, and fighting together. Eren stared blankly at Armin who also had a trance-like expression on his face. None of the flashbulb memories made any sense to the child. This is the first time he had even met the blonde boy, none of the images could be real?

"Eren? Armin? Earth to children?" Mrs. Arlert asked as both mothers went to attend to their sons.

Armin was the first to force himself to come back to reality. He puts on a bright smile to reassure his mother that he was okay.

"Sorry about that! I think I just spaced out for a second. Mom, could I show Eren our new swing set we got for the backyard please?" Armin batted his eyes for good measure.

Mrs. Arlert had a concerned look as she looked at her son. She looked over at Eren who was consoling his own mother that he was fine. The blonde woman had no idea to explain the strange encounter that happened between the two boys. Have they already met before? Had Eren done something to Armin to warrant such a strange reaction? Despite her worries, it seemed that Armin was back to normal, so she agreed as long as Carla was okay with it too.

With the approval of both of their mothers, Eren and Armin rushed off to the backyard to the swing set. Although, the brunette boy had a hunch that the blonde wanted to do more than just play. They both swung lightly waiting for the other to be the first one to say something. Eventually, it was Armin who was the first to speak.

"I...I know you. I feel like... we are already friends. Do you know me?"

Eren did not respond immediately. He thought about what the other boy had said. He knows for a fact that he had never met Armin before. However, where did all those visions come from? Why did he feel like has known the blonde boy for hundreds of years?

"I do. You... you taught me about the sea. Right? But, when could have that ever happened?" Eren asks as he stops his swings motion. The other boy does the same as he thinks about his response.

"I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. We're still kids, but I experienced memories of us as grown-ups," Armin expressed trying to come up with a reason of how this could be so.

"Me too. We were in like the Army or something and we lived behind a really big wall. But I don't remember anything else about it," Eren explained as he scratched his head. The memories flashed so fast that the boys did not know the context to what they saw. It all came through as a blur that they were have trouble interpreting.

"My dad taught me this big word once. re-in-car-nation. It means that a person is living a new life after they got done living an old life. We saw a movie where it happened to one of the characters. Maybe we know each other from an old life!" Armin theorized. Eren scrunched his nose at the thought. To him, it just sounded like the blonde boy just had an active imagination.

"Re-in-car-nation. It sounds made up."

"How else can you explain us having the same memories?"

"I don't know!" Eren raises his voice defensively. It made the boy frustrated that he could not think of any other explanation himself. Armin took that as a cue not to continue this topic. He stays quiet for a moment before changing the train of thought.

"Well, if we remember being friends, why don't we be friends again?" The blonde boy's smile is like a beam of sunshine to the brunette boy. Eren looked unsure at the other child. He did not like that he could not interpret what he experienced. However, he could not bring himself to be upset with the other child. He may have just met Armin, but he could deny how familiar his company felt. Eren could not help but feel like that he had found a piece of himself that he never knew was missing.

Finally, Eren smiles back. "Yeah! That sounds fun!"

After proclaiming their new friendship, they decide to actually play with each other until their mothers were done visiting. Eren said goodbye to Armin and politely thanked Mrs. Arlert for letting them visit. When they came home, Carla went to the kitchen to start dinner, and Eren continued his day as normal. 

-

When Eren went to sleep that night, it felt like he got sucked into another world. He was living in a different town during a different time period. For some reason he knew exactly where he was: Shinganshina, an outlier district of Wall Maria. He did not even question how he knew this place. Him and his parents were living in a small house with no electrical appliances. None of them seemed to be alarmed by the extra household member that they had.

She was a girl that was the same age as Eren. She had shoulder-length black hair and pale skin. She also had gray eyes that seemed much older and wiser than an average child. Eren looked straight at her and already knew that her name was Mikasa despite never seeing her before. 

He was mad at her. He was yelling at her because she told his parents that he wanting to join the Scouts.

Scouts? How did he know what that meant? How did he know what any of this was.

His father is leaving for work (apparently he is still a doctor), and he tells Eren that if he behaves that he will tell the child about the work he has been doing in the cellar. This seems to satiate the boy for the time being.

He runs into town in frustration after talking back to his mother. Mikasa was quick to catch up with him. He continued running (trying to lose the black-haired girl but not succeeding) until they ran into Armin being taunted by the neighborhood bullies. Eren charged full speed to defend his friend, and watched in satisfaction to see the three tormentors run away in fear. He blissfully ignored the fact that he was not necessarily the one they were running away from. He quickly went to help Armin up, but the blonde boy refused to accept the help.

The day seemed to be just like any other day as they sat by the river. Eren was still mad at Mikasa, but the girl did not seem bothered. His frustration came from his desire to see the world outside the walls. He was not content with living behind the wall as he waited for death. Just like every person, he deserved to see the world outside.

It seemed like the late afternoon would transition to a peaceful evening, but instead it began a turning point for humanity. A massive beam of lightning struck which shook the entire district. The children soon recovered to me met by the face of absolute fear.

A titan. The Colossal Titan which stood at 60 meters, stared down at his victims.

With a slow kick, he broke through the gate of the wall which left a massive gapping whole in their only defense against the titans.

The skinless titan vanished as suddenly as he appeared while leaving the citizens of Shinganshina to suffer the consequences of his actions. People screamed in terror as the first titans entered through the broken gate. It was absolute chaos as people scrambled to get away from the man-eating monsters. All Eren could about his mom. Their house is in that direction of where debris landed. He started running as he desperately hoped that his mother was safe. 

"MOOOOOOMMMM" Eren screamed as he found his mother stuck under their crushed house. This could not be happening. Nothing about this situation made sense to him. Why was this happening to them?

Carla pleaded to her son to take Mikasa and run for the inner gate. Eren refused to leave his mother. He was not going to let his mother die. He tried with all his might to lift the house off from his mom. He could hear the footstep of a titan closing in on them which only made him more frantic. He screams as Hannes takes Eren and forcibly carries him away from the scene.

He could not look away. He watched as his mother covered her mouth to muffle her own terrified crying. The titan approaching had a daunting smile as it sorted through the shambles of the house to grab Carla. Her struggles were futile as the monster incapacitates her and slowly brings her to its mouth.

Eren wanted it all the stopped. He wanted to be let go so that he could save his mother, but instead he is helplessly watching the scene unfold. He calls out to his mother as the titan bites his mother in half causing her blood to spew over the scene.

-

Eren woke himself up with his own blood-curdling screams. He cried as his mother's death replays over and over in his head. Carla and Grisha rushed to their child's bedside. Fear was written on both of their faces as they saw the boy screaming and trashing.

"Eren?! Sweetie, we're here now. what's wrong?" Carla asks. The child's tears became more profuse when he saw his mother. He lunged for her lap as he continued to cry in his mother's arms. His grip was a little painful from how tight it was, but she would not dare pull away. Whatever dream that Eren had must have been horrifying.

"You're safe now, son. You have nothing to fear now," Grisha said as he rubbed a soothing hand on Eren's back. The boy tried to calm down but every time he looked at his mom hit was hit by another wave of tears.

"I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry that I couldn't save you," Eren said in muffled sobs. A grave expression appeared Grisha's face while a look of concern came across Carla's.

"Listen to me, Eren. It was just a dream. Nothing you saw was real," His mother explained as tears started falling from her own eyes. Eren wants to believe her, but he knew she was wrong. What he saw was absolutely real no matter how much he wants it to be fake. Eventually, the child was able to calm down to a state of silent weeping. His parent let him sleep in their room for the rest of the night. He continued embracing his mother for the remainder of the night. None of them were able to sleep well after what had happened.

-

Eren was allowed to stay home from school the next morning. He was still shaken up after his nightmare and felt like he would start crying at any moment. All he wanted was to stay close to his mom so that he knows that she is still alive. He spent the day watching his cartoons on his mother's lap. Carla tried to cheer her son up with treats or would make a joke about the cartoon, but nothing seemed to help relieved his pain.

When Grisha came home from work, Carla asked Eren asked if he would be okay sitting with his dad while started dinner. The boy nodded giving his mom a hug before letting go of her. His dad sat on the couch next to him and wrapped an arm around him. Eren leaned into his father's embrace while he ensured that he could see his mother in the kitchen. Grisha cleared his throat as he thought about how to word what he wanted to say.

"You saw them didn't you?" His father whispered in a voice faint enough that Carla would not be able to hear him. Eren is caught off guard by the question. Did his dad know about the titans? Was he another person with these visions?

"D-do you mean...the titans?" Eren mumbled in an equally soft voice. Grisha nods in confirmation. The boy looked away before muttering a yes. An image of the smiling titan flashed in his mind which made him clutch his father tighter. The man looks solemn as he holds his son tightly. 

"I had hoped that you wouldn't gain your memories back, but I knew that it was only a matter of time. I also started remembering my past life when I was your age."

Eren looks at his dad in disbelief, but Grisha had trouble making eye contact with his son.

"Does this mean we are all reincarnated? Does Mom remember anything?"

"We are. You. Me. Mom. Neighbor Hannes. Even the Arlerts once lived in the walled colony on Paradis Island two thousand years ago. And no, mom does not remember a thing. She did not experience the titans in a way that we did," Grisha explained. Eren furrowed his brows as he processed this information. He did not know how to feel about knowing this.

"What are we suppose to do now?" Eren asked. Grisha finally looked his son in the eyes. The man's expression was filled with guilt. It hurt to know that his son would suffer the consequences of his decision even in this new life.

"Eren, what's done has been done. The titans are gone and the war is over. You are not defined by the life you had before. We are free now, so please enjoy it," Grisha said as he forced a comforting smile. The two hugged each other tightly as they basked in this new solidarity that they share with each other.

Carla called her family to dinner once it was done. The three of them gathered at the dinning table as they began putting food on their plates. Eren chewed silently as he looked from his mom to his dad silently. He assumed that his father was right. This only he could do was to enjoy his new life despite his memories of the old one. An odd thought goes through his head as the evening settled in.

He wonders how long this era will remain peaceful and if he could really be happy despite his old life.


	2. Life of Atonement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank quarantine for the revival of this fic lol.

After his first dream, Eren continued to gain other memories as well. It got to a point that Eren would not want to sleep in fear of seeing another memory. He especially hated any vision that included those giant, human-eating monsters called titans. The boy felt tortured seeing the mindless beings feast on innocent people pleading for their lives. He tried not to think about it, but how could he not? He did his best to leave his old self behind and enjoy his present life; however, this grew into quite a difficult task as time went on.

The change in the child's behavior was apparent to both Carla and Grisha. Eren did not act as energetic as he usually did. He was more reserved and to himself whenever he played with other kids. He quietly stayed in his room most days which was concerning to both of them. Their son was always someone who wore his heart on his sleeve. He was always expressing himself loudly whether he was happy or mad. Even when he would play alone in his room, he would do so loudly. Neither parent was used to seeing Eren act like a shell of his former self.

Carla insisted that they should take their son to see a psychologist. She did not want her son to feel pressured to talk to them, but it was clear by his change in behavior and recurring nightmares that Eren needed help. Grisha agreed with his wife that their son needed help, but he was hesitant to agree with taking Eren to a professional. The child needed help with handling the memories of his past life, and there is no guarantee that he could find a psychologist that also had memories of that time. He asked Shadis if he knew of anyone out of all his old Survey Corps contacts, but the other man was still looking. Grisha will just have to keep a good eye on his son until he can find someone.

Meanwhile, Eren was in his room watching Pokémon with Armin. The blonde tried joke with the other kid about how Ash's stubbornness reminded him of a certain someone, but the brunette only grunted in response.

Armin sighed after the lack of response. It had been a year since they first met and gained the memories of their past lives. As the blonde got reintroduced to his old friend, he noticed that Eren was becoming more closed off. Armin would try to get Eren to interact with him and other kids, but most of his efforts were futile. The brunette refused socialize with other people more than what was deemed necessary. The only reason the blonde boy could see Eren today is because Carla was watching him until his parent got home from work.

The two boys watch the screen as Team Rocket was blasting off again. Eren held his knees close to his chest as he waited for time to pass. He only had to wait another hour until Mr. Arlert picked up Armin. He just had to wait until then.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Armin asked as another episode started to play.

Eren assumes he should give some time of verbal response.

"Yeah, what is it?"

"Do you...do you want to stop being friends?" Armin mumbles. It was clear that the words were painful to say.

Eren stares at the other kid in disbelief. He cannot be serious?

"Why would you ask something like that?" Eren exclaims with more emotion than he has shown in months.

"I just...it seems the more I try to spend time with you the more you try to shut me out. I thought that maybe we would want to stay friends in this life, but I don’t want to pressure you if that makes you unhappy,” Armin expresses with a sad smile. Eren frowns at the other boy’s words.

Armin is a very thoughtful child. The memories of their past lives made them both grow up quickly, but he is unusually mature for his age even compared to Eren. Sometimes, he would feel like he needed to dumb himself down in order to relate to other kids, but he never did that in front of Eren. He freely spoke his mind to the other as if they were fifteen and in the military again. There were times when Eren forgot that they are only nine years old in this life.

“I do want to stay friends! It’s just…” Eren trailed off. He is not good at words like Armin. His child brain did not cope well with his adult memories. The other boy waits with a patient smile for him to figure out how he wants to explain himself.  
“I hurt you, Armin. I hurt you and Mikasa. The two people that matter the most to me. I hurt everyone that cared about me. I just think that maybe I don’t deserve to be happy after all I did,” Eren sighs curling into a ball. He does not know why he was reborn in such a peaceful era to a well-off family when he is responsible for so much death. Armin looks down at the floor as he meditates on what his friend just confessed. It is true that Eren indeed did a lot of terrible things, but it was all for the sake of the people he loved.

“At the time, you were convinced that there were no other options,” Armin shrugs. He knows that the past is a touchy subject for the both of them. They always avoid details because it would be too much for them. Eren appreciates how conscientious his friend is. Eren nods in agreement with the other. In the situation that Paradis was in, there were not a lot of favorable options for them. He did what he thought he had to do in other to protect his home; however, that did not excuse what he tried to do.

Eren blinks a couple times to get rid of the images that accompany the memories. He reminds himself that they are only flashbacks. He is in the present right now with Armin. They are in his bedroom watching TV. The images he sees are not his life anymore.

“That’s a lousy excuse,” Eren comments. Armin huffs as he scoots closer to the other boy. He lifts Eren’s chin so that they could look each other in the eyes. He wants to look away, but Armin’s expression demanded that he cooperate. His face has so much determination that it makes Eren still.

“You are not defined by those decisions anymore. You’re a kid now. The worst thing you have ever done is push someone off a jungle gym,” Armin states. Eren wants to pull back from the intense moment. He did not like having this kind of direct confrontation.

“Maybe not this version of me. But my soul is,” he retorts. He wants to yell and tell Armin to stop but did not want to alert his mother. She is currently vacuuming but would be able to hear them if he got too loud. Armin can only sigh as he pulls back from the other boy. Eren is just as stubborn now as he was back then.

“You’re really just going to wallow in misery for all of this life?”

“It’s what I deserve!” Eren says slightly raising his voice. He turns his head away from Armin wishing this conversation will end. He knows that his friend is going to have more to say. He does not want to hear it. He does not understand why Armin could not just leave him alone about the topic. Is it wrong for him to be mournful about what he did?

Armin is silent as he thinks of the right way to say what he thinks. He also has regrets from their past. He had to do bad things as well and did not live up to expectations. However, he did not see the point in suffering now when he had already suffered enough back then. Eren certainty has already gone through enough suffering to last him at least five lifetimes. The issue is that the other would never see it like that. He will always see that he has to atone for his sins.  
“You know, Eren, we have a unique opportunity. We have a chance to make things right. Odds are that there are others from our past that are living now. Jean, Connie, Sasha, Mikasa. You have a chance to reconcile with all of them and others.”

Armin has a comforting smile as Eren finally willingly looks up at him. There are tears threatening to form as he looks at his friend’s sincere expression. It is almost too much for him. After the brief moment of silence, Armin continues his thought.

“If you can’t find a reason to move on for yourself, could you do it for all the people that cared about you? Who still care about you?”

The words lay a heavy burden on Eren’s heart. He had thought about how many of his old friends and comrades had been born into this world. He also wonders how much of them remember the past like he did. There were a lot of people that sacrificed their lives for his sake. He realizes that Armin does have a point. He may never be able to fully alleviate the burden of his past, but he can lessen it by reconciling with the people he caused hurt.

At that moment, they both heard the vacuum turn off which meant that the end of their conversation. The two kids nod at each other knowing they have to go back to acting their age again. Armin turns around where he is sitting next to Eren as they resume watching the Pokémon episode. The blonde’s words hang in the air as they both sit silently next to each other. He does not know if what he said reached to his friend, but he knew he had to say something. All he wants is for all of them to have a normal life.

Eren takes a side glance at the other boy. The other stares blankly at the television with solemn eyes. He wonders why Armin continues to stay by his side despite everything that happened. He wants to ask why the other did not stop believing in the goodness of him when he became a monster. It did not make any sense to him.

What does makes sense is that Eren’s current behavior is hurting him. If he continues his pattern of self-hatred it is only going to make him more upset. The last thing he wants to do is cause his closest friend anymore pain. Armin had a point. If Eren could not find happiness for himself, he could at least find solace in contributing to the happiness of the people he loved.

He puts a hand over Armin’s which catches the other by surprise. Eren gives him a playful smirk pushing away the negative emotions that came with talking about the past.

“You know, you got a lot of nerve comparing me to Ash. I’m obviously way cooler than him!” Eren remarks going back to the previous failed conversation. Armin gives him a grateful smile in return before playing along.

“I don’t know. I think the level of thick-headedness is uncanny,” He teases back. Eren pretends to glare back as he stands up dramatically.

“Oh yeah! Well get your GameBoy out and I’ll show you how much better of a Pokémon trainer I am!” Eren challenges. Armin is quick to take him up on the offer with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He knows for a fact that he is better at type strategies than the other kid.

After a couple rounds, Carla comes up to tell Armin that his father is here to pick him up. She is surprised to hear the sound of childish bickering between the two boys. Eren is insisting that the other kid cheated while Armin claims that it was not his fault that the other did not know dark types were weak against psychics. There is life to Carla’s son that she has not seen in what feels like forever. She cannot stop the small tear that comes down her cheek to see Eren acting more life himself again.

Armin leaves with Mr. Arlert after promising a rematch for tomorrow. Eren gives a playful huff as he states that the other better be prepared to lose. There is chuckling among the adults as the two kids stick their tongues at each other. After the door is closed, Carla is smiling down at her son as she pats his head.

“You’re in a much better mood after playing with Armin,” She states.

There is a tinge of sadness in Eren’s heart as he looks up at his mom. It is always there when he looks at her. He remembers how he could not save her all those years ago. However, he smiles back at her regardless of the pain in his chest.

“I guess he is just really good at cheering people up,” Eren shrugs. Carla kisses the top of his head before going to the kitchen to sweep the floors. He decides to go back to his room to continue to play his video game alone.

He sighs as he watches his little avatar run through the tall grass as he thinks more about what Armin said. He feels awful for making people worried as he sulked about past memories. Not only did it affect Armin, but his parents also were affected by his self-loathing. The thought makes him want to slap his cheeks for being such a brat.

He is not going to repeat history. He is not going to hurt people anymore. In this life, he has the luxury of choice and he is going to use it. No one is going to suffer ever again because of him.


End file.
